Growing up, we attended mass weekly as a family, prayed before meals, and went to Catholic school. Going to church was just something we did, and I never gave much thought as to why. I didn’t have a prayer life, seek the sacraments, or learn much about my Catholic faith.

In the 6th grade, bullying started and lasted for most of my school years. This led me seeking acceptance and approval from others, which turned me on a path of some serious sin and to living a double life; a church life on Sundays, and a life of sin with substance abuse, an impure lifestyle, and rebellion against the rules the rest of the time. I was at my lowest point by the end of my first year of college. The party lifestyle I was living was no longer satisfying. I was ready to give up pleasing others and fitting in. After a particularly rough night, I prayed a prayer of desperation to God, my first honest prayer, and he answered my prayer a few weeks later.

Upon returning home for the summer, there was a group of young adult Catholic missionaries at my parish. I was drawn to their authentic Christian life, and the love and acceptance they offered to me. They invited me to take a faith study. It was the first time I had ever heard the Gospel message laid out to me so clearly. I realized that the acceptance I was looking for is found in Christ, and in my identity as His son. I prayed a prayer to begin a relationship with Jesus and went to confession for the first time since my first reconciliation. 

Confession was the turning point for me. I was terrified to go due to the fear of rejection, and humiliation which I had experienced for much of my life. The confession experience I had was the opposite of the rejection I had feared. The priest truly exemplified the person of Christ in that sacrament. This was where I intimately encountered the Lord. He accepted me as I was, looked on me with love, and told me to go and sin no more. I left with a deep peace and joy of the Lord which never left me.

Then the Mass came alive for me. I began a daily prayer life, worked at turning away from sin, and learned about my faith. I was on fire for God and wanted everyone to experience the joy I had found. Since that time, I have become well formed in the Catholic faith and have developed a passion for evangelization and building up leaders in the church.

Psalm 139 says: “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.”

The Lord knows everything about us and loves us,  even in our brokenness and sin. If you’ve been away from confession for a while, I invite you to give it a try. I encourage you to begin (or continue) a close relationship with Christ. I have found this relationship so life-giving in the practice of our faith.