My journey to salvation was a long time in the making. I grew up in an Atheistic household so my exposure to religion was mostly limited to snippets in movies here and there. When I was 8, a friend of mine invited me to an event night for kids at a local church. We sang songs and watched Veggie Tales and ate snacks. This event night became a weekly ritual and I looked forward to it every time. At that point I don't think I truly understood the Bible or the concept of God, and eventually once the church stopped hosting kids' nights, I did not pursue a relationship with God any further.

When I was 13 my mom moved us to England so she could pursue a career in Museum Artefacts. Although I was happy for my mother, I struggled with the transition between the Canadian school system and the English system. I found it very hard to make friends due to cultural difference and I was bullied by some of my female peers. This led to me developing an eating problem, very low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.

However, a blessing in all this mess was the keen interest I developed in my Religion class. The fact that I ended up at a Catholic school was partly due to the location of my house and the convenience of commuting to school, and also that my mom had read online that this school had far better reviews than the one 2 minutes from our home.

In Religion class I finally started to soak in some of the messages I had missed at my childhood church group. A connection started to form and I began a journey with God. I remember one of the first symbols I related to was the virgin Mary. She was and still is a comforting image for me. Maybe it's because I was raised by a single mother, and feminine energy is very familiar. God represented something I didn't have physically... a father. Uncharted waters, but still, I prayed to Him.

God made me feel whole after feeling half empty for so long. I prayed often, but criticized myself for not knowing what to say and how to say it. With no guidance, I never knew whether I was doing it "right". I was too nervous to start going to church alone at such a young age and was too shy to ask my teachers for help. I became frustrated and I didn't know where to turn. Not knowing enough about confession and forgiveness, I came to the conclusion that my past sins would probably ruin my chances at being accepted by God, so I gave up. It wasn't sudden, it was gradual, but by 16 I was heading down a one-way path to self-destruction. Drinking, marijuana, and impurity had become chief rivals with God in my life. I wanted to feel numb instead of working through my troubles.

Although I passed through these hard times with general maturing, my inner turmoil would still bubble to the surface from time to time and I would fall into unhealthy habits. I tried to cope with yoga and excessive exercise. However, it was no substitute for what I really needed.

When I first met my now husband (and God parent), Sandro, we did not see eye to eye when it came to religion. He was Catholic and I considered myself Agnostic. He never pushed me, but would openly talk about God in conversation. During our courtship, I listened to many conversations between Sandro and his father on the topic of Catholic faith and I began to open my heart again, slowly.

However, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I started to drink more than ever. All the bad news and boredom really got to me. One night I went overboard and made a huge fool of myself. When I went to bed that night, I searched for videos on how to quit drinking alcohol. After I scrolled through about 20 videos, YouTube did that thing where they just show you something random in the results after you've scrolled too far, and I came across this video by Fr. Mike Schmitz called "Can you lose your faith?" I was drawn to it so I watched it, and I truly believe this was the turning point for me. Fr. Mike says "We can't lose our faith. We either choose not to use it or we give it away".

I started to watch more and more of his videos and talked to Sandro about my new found knowledge about the Catholic Faith. Sandro would say, "You know you can get baptized as an adult, right? It's not weird at all." I had never known anyone, personally, that was baptized as an adult, but I had seen an adult baptism in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, so I just thought it was an exception made for adults wanting to get married in a church. I'd never considered it for my circumstance.

After plenty of research, I found an RCIA program held at Holy Redeemer. I contacted Mr. Dave Dupuis whose name was listed on the website and I started RCIA the following autumn. The amount of information was overwhelming. I was so new to EVERYTHING. I felt like I was learning a new language. Everything I already knew about God was just the tip of the iceberg. A lot of the RCIA participants had some sort of experience with religion, so there were times when I thought to myself "Should I even be here? Should I know this stuff? What does everyone think?" My tendency to criticize myself was a constant battle.

Around Christmastime Sandro and I got engaged. It was a really happy time with lots of excitement. Dave guided us throughout our engagement with any questions we had. Sandro really started to strengthen his faith at this time as well, which brought us even closer together. Our conversations about God became longer and deeper, and we even started to pray together.

A few months later I was baptized at the Easter vigil. It was so beautiful and surreal. Of course, it wasn't easy to stand in front of a full church with all the attention on me, but I just let go and let God.

Fr. Paul and all the members of the clergy, as well as my RCIA peers and fellow parishioners were so supportive and friendly. I felt at home right away.

3 months after my baptism and the night before my wedding, I did my first confession. I was so nervous, but Fr. Paul has a way of making you feel comfortable, so again, I just let go and let God.

It was a privilege to be married by Fr. Paul at Holy Redeemer. I have now received 4 sacraments at this church and I look forward to experiencing many more once Sandro and I start a family.

I'd like to give a special thanks to Dave Dupuis for being a pragmatic leader of the faith and continual support in my spiritual life. I hope to join RCIA for many more years to come. I still have lots to learn and my relationship with God is ever evolving.