Most of the decisions that shape a life don’t feel like decisions at all. They feel instead like expectations to follow a certain life – thrust upon us by parents, society, peers. The cost of fulfilling these expectations is subtle but cumulative: fewer experiments, narrower options, and a growing sense that life is happening on someone else’s terms.

Anne-Laure Le Cunff is a neuroscientist and entrepreneur. The creator of learning community Ness Labs and author of its popular newsletter, she is a world-leading expert on mindful productivity and systematic curiosity.